The one piece of styling advice I wish I could give my 30-year-old self

For the vast majority of my twenties I never changed sizes. I knew what brands I liked, what sizes and styles fit my body best, and there was a good chance that the things I ordered would fit. I simply had to decide whether I liked the style. 

When I was 30 I found out I was pregnant with my first. It was summer in California and I figured I could get through most of my pregnancy wearing flowy dresses and then, 2 weeks after baby came, go right back to my high-wasted, no-stretch denim.

Wrong. 

The one piece of styling advice I wish I could give my 30-year-old self

For the vast majority of my twenties I never changed sizes. I knew what brands I liked, what sizes and styles fit my body best, and there was a good chance that the things I ordered would fit. I simply had to decide whether I liked the style. 

When I was 30 I found out I was pregnant with my first. It was summer in California and I figured I could get through most of my pregnancy wearing flowy dresses and then, 2 weeks after baby came, go right back to my high-wasted, no-stretch denim.

Wrong. 

First of all, for someone who loves the creative process of getting dressed, wearing the same A-line Everlane dress day in and day out was a real snooze, no matter how much I accessorized. I was still going to an office at the time, so there was a real reason to get dressed. I missed my old clothes terribly, and I kept a running list of all of the things I wanted to buy for after I was finally back to my old size. 

Unfortunately, I never got back to my old size. Pregnancy had permanently altered the shape of my body, even after I lost the baby weight. Nursing imposed its own wardrobe constraints (goodbye high-necked dresses) and by the time I was done with that it was a matter of months before I was pregnant with my second and the whole cycle began again. In the meantime, we lived through Covid, our jobs went remote, and we began our lives as parents. Nothing that I had in my wardrobe from before my first pregnancy fit my body or my lifestyle anymore.

pregnant at the beach

The one piece of styling advice I wish I could give my 30-year-old self sounds like it was straight out of a meditation course: stop living for the past or the future and start living for the now. Don’t wax nostalgic over that pair of pants that no longer fits you. You probably wouldn’t even like them that much anyway if they did. Don’t buy things for next season, or for when you finally go back to the office, or for when you are finally done nursing, or for when you are finally a size smaller. By then, you’ll want something else. Instead, ask yourself, what would make me feel beautiful and powerful right now? If I have to buy something, what could I buy that would celebrate my body as it currently is? Does it suit my current lifestyle and activities, or if not, could I make it suit my current lifestyle and activities? I am all for wearing wildly inappropriate outfits to the grocery store. Whatever makes you happy, as long as you actually wear it.

new baby mirror selfie

In building Hera, I’ve been very conscious of a woman’s need to change out clothing as she changes sizes and lifestyles. I believe we should be able to trade out clothing that no longer suits us without it being environmentally or economically detrimental. A lot of brands pay lip-service to secondhand and resale, but I don’t see very many actually making this process easy for the customer. I think we can do better. I want women to be able to easily send in their old Hera pieces and get credit for new styles and sizes, and I want to make our clothing more accessible to more people by offering secondhand versions at a discount. 

As always, I’m curious to hear your thoughts. How do you deal with size changes? Do you use resale platforms to shop and sell? Let me know in the comments or by replying to this email. 

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1 comment

  • Give away, resale- pine over giveaways & resale, stare at fancy clothes in closet I have nowhere to go in- & yes, the occasional grocery store dress-up day. Rid myself of work clothes, had try on days looking in mirror, that helped clean out closet. Currently buying things with elastic, spandex, warm fuzzy & draping or leggings

    LYNN FRIEDMAN

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